Children of divorced parents undeniably fare best when parents can communicate well and collaborate. To facilitate this, divorced or separated parents need to create a parenting plan.
Most people understand that such a plan defines how the parents will share physical child custody, also known as a custody schedule. This includes the day-to-day schedule during the school year and the schedule during the summer break and holiday periods.
A comprehensive parenting plan includes many other important items: for instance, the parenting plan should identify when and how parents will communicate, when and how a parent and child will communicate during non-custodial periods, and how parents will handle transitions between households. The plan will also include day-to-day decisions such as who makes and attends doctor and dental appointments, who will correspond with teachers and attend parent-teacher meetings, what extracurricular and summer activities the child will participate in, transitioning of items between households, and payment and reimbursement of supplies, clothing and equipment.
Furthermore, the plan should define when input should be solicited from the other parent, what information must be shared between the parents, how to correspond with teachers, coaches, and healthcare professionals, and guidelines regarding travel.
It is also advised that parents inform the other parent about the routines, rules and expectations in their home, with the goal, if possible, of having some continuity between homes.
Lastly, a parenting plan is meant to evolve as a child matures. Accordingly, timelines should be identified when the parents will reexamine, and possibly modify, the parenting plan.
Given the multifaceted nature and complexity of a parenting plan, it is advisable that parents confer with a mental health or family law professional who is well-versed in this arena.
Dr. Deborah Ribnick is a licensed psychologist who has had a clinical and forensic practice since 1996. She currently provides psychotherapy services to adolescents, adults, couples and families. She also provides collaborative divorce and divorce mediation services, child custody consultation and parent coordination services following separation or divorce in Nevada.
If you have questions about how to file for divorce in Nevada, divorce cost or need to find a divorce attorney in Reno, Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals can help make the process easier. To connect with Dr. Ribnick, visit her profile here.
Dr. Ribnick was drawn to the collaborative divorce model because she believes in promoting and facilitating constructive interpersonal interactions.
Individuals can be considerate, if not kind, even when it is clear that the marital relationship needs to end. When children are involved, it is even more important to foster a respectful rapport between the parents.
By design, the collaborative model helps the divorcing parties to discuss what is important to each of them, including identifying how they wish for the divorce process to proceed.
Beyond the customary tasks of identifying and dividing up property and assets, other important areas are addressed such as how to interact with extended (ex) family, how to interact when at the same events, when and how to communicate regarding co-parenting decisions and how to interact during future milestone occasions (e.g., celebrations such as graduation and weddings, the birth of grandchildren and how to deal with calamities such as a family illness).
An additional draw of the collaborative model for Dr. Ribnick is being part of a team of professionals who value helping the divorcing couple achieve resolution. This is different than the traditional (litigation-based) legal model which has more of a win–lose orientation and accordingly, may fuel animosity between the parties.
The collaborative approach is less likely to create damage during the divorce process and may, much to the surprise of the divorcing couple, improve their rapport in the years ahead.
Dr. Deborah Ribnick is a licensed psychologist who has had a clinical and forensic practice since 1996. She currently provides psychotherapy services to adolescents, adults, couples and families. She also provides collaborative divorce and divorce mediation services, child custody consultation and parent coordination services following separation or divorce in Nevada.
If you have questions about how to file for divorce in Nevada, divorce cost or need to find a divorce attorney in Reno, Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals can help make the process easier. To connect with Dr. Ribnick, visit her profile here.
I have watched my clients struggle with the traditional litigation model that we have in place for divorce in Nevada. It is a flawed system – but it is what we have. Certainly, litigation has its place. That said, it makes sense to me that people working in the Reno divorce arena have inquired about other options.
Working toward a trial is difficult. Seeing failed divorce mediation and failed settlement discussions, and to be left with nothing but Reno family court as the only option to reach a resolution is hard. We can do divorce in a way that builds you up as a person, instead of tearing you apart. Enter – collaborative divorce.
We can separate your finances without depleting them. When people have nothing left emotionally and are financially depleted, it begs the question: is there a better way?
Yes, there is!
I have walked with my clients down the divorce litigation path. To say this is a struggle is an understatement. Divorce without court and working together to meet both parties' needs means there is more of the pie left to split at the end of the day.
Couples do not have to bring each other down. You can be at your adult child’s graduation, wedding, etc. and stand there together with respect.
Melissa L. Exline, Esq.
Working with families to bring some peace to the chaos that can dominate during the divorce process demands a special, people-centered approach. Melissa does not have cases, she deals with people — people that matter deeply. Her practice focuses on divorce and custody cases, and she prefers to work with clients to reach an amicable resolution. Melissa prides herself on an honest, straight-forward approach to family law, truly becoming a team with her clients, and always putting the children first when custody is a dominating element.
Melissa is Vice President of NCDP (2016) and on its board of directors. In addition, she is a member of the Nevada Justice Association and works to lobby in the area of family law.
Get in touch with this divorce lawyer in Reno here.
Many parents face issues with their children voicing that they do not want to go to the other parent’s home when the parties have divorced and agreed to a custody schedule. There is really no defined age at which a child can determine their own schedule.
If the custody schedule determines that the child is to go to the other parent’s home on a certain day and the child states he or she does not want to go, what are the options for the parent who does not want to be found to be in contempt of court for failure to require the child to go to the other parent’s home?
There are instances where a child simply states they do not want to go to the other parent’s home. The custodial parent should calmly ask if there's any reason why, which could be legitimate such as feeling sick and afraid they will throw up, etc. The custodial parent should ask the child about their symptoms, take their temperature and assess the situation.
If there does not appear to be a valid sickness, the custodial parent should tell the child that the other parent will be advised of the symptoms, but the child still must go to the other parent’s home, as that parent loves the child and is looking forward to time with them. The custodial parent should first of all communicate with the other parent what is going on with the child on the custodian exchange date.
If the child continues to refuse to go, then this refusal should be communicated to the other parent. This communication should be about the child’s refusal, without any name calling or blaming the other parent. Approach the issue as if it is a joint issue that both parents need to help solve. It is both parent’s responsibility to adhere to the custody decree.
If the child continues to refuse to go, the custodial parent must advise the child that the custodial exchanges are every bit as important and a necessity as going to school. If your child does not want to go to school, a parent would only allow the child to stay home if he was demonstrably ill, and that they are required to stay in their room, in their bed and to rest, and that his or her phone and computer are not to be turned on until the end of the school day, dinner time etc.
If the child continues to refuse to go to the custodial parent’s home and he is not sick the custodial parent should advise the other parent of this behavior and that the child’s privileges will be taken away from them for this disobedient behavior. That could include loss of cell phone, loss of gaming privileges, grounding etc.
The primary requirement is to communicate with the other custodial parent without blaming them and to advise them what disciplinary action you intend to take.
If the disciplinary action does not work, therapy for the child and the parent the child does not want to see should be initiated. The child therapist will hold the child’s confidences, unless the therapist is required to call Child Protective Services to report child abuse. The therapist will likely meet with the child several times prior to asking the parent to attend that the child does not wish to visit. The purpose of the therapy is to help communication between parent and child so that the relationship may be get better or heal and to help the child and parent with tools so each can communicate better with the other.
If a parent neither communicates with the other parent, or supports the child’s wishes instead of the custody order and takes no disciplinary action towards the child, a court is likely to find the parent in contempt of court if the parent who is being denied visitation seeks relief through the court system.
Our Collaborative Team is here to work together to help separating parents who divorce in Nevada resolve their disagreements efficiently and respectfully outside of family court. Our team works to keep legal, emotional, financial and child custody matters from hindering a resolution that is fair to both parties and any children.
We at Nevada Collaborative Divorce Professionals believe that when mutual respect and a resolve to manage differences are maintained through collaborative divorce, moving forward has a realistic basis for success. With the more positive divorce mediation process this promotes, new beginnings and opportunities can take place.
Contact our divorce attorneys in Reno and across Nevada today and see how our team can help you stay out of courtroom litigation.
Gloria M. Petroni grew up on a farm in Yerington, Nevada. Her Italian father, who came to the U.S. at just 16 years old, was determined to make a better life for himself, a trait he also instilled in his children. With her father’s determination in mind, Ms. Petroni became the first lawyer in her family. She takes her mission of providing excellent representation based upon trust and respect seriously as she works for her clients day after day. Ms. Petroni believes that every client is entitled to dignity and support from their law firm and from their lawyer, and to know that they are in a safe place where their confidential matters are protected in the highest regard. Outside of her practice, she enjoys outdoor sports such as wakeboarding, skiing, golfing, and hiking. She’s up for any new travel or outdoor adventure.
